Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
