got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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