if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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