I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
too bad you live with your parents still
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
