Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
