Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
