i don't like sucking hair
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
