Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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