Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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