Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
