Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
