Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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