i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
