Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You pole danced in your parka.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
