Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
