Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
