Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
