It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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