So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
