I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
