his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
