dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
