I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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