She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
