they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
