Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
