I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Someone shattered a urinal.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
