Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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