oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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