with your own penis?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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