doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
