Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
