Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
