Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
being pregnant is like rehab
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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