My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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