just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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