piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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