i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
