My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
