Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
