ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
