OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
