What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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