I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
