i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
