This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
