i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
only you would photoshop your dick
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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