Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
They took my balls.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
