I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
