My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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