the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
